Uncle Boris has had many adventures to exotic places in both space and time.

Shortly after the turn of the last century Uncle Boris heard the Chinese had knowledge of the life-force that permeates all things. Uncle Boris asked every Chinese person he met to teach him the secret of the life-force. Most had no idea what he was talking about. Uncle Boris then realized that not all Chinese people had the knowledge he sought but surely some of them did.

Uncle Boris prepared for a journey to China. Uncle Boris knew there were more Chinese people in China than anywhere else so he figured the odds of meeting one that knew the secret of the life-force would be greater there. And after his various spiritual sojourns Uncle Boris figured he was up for a journey to China.

Little did Uncle Boris know that the world was about to lose interest in primates possessing his unique talent for yo-yo tricks. Without his usual source of income Uncle Boris resorted to taking odd jobs to pay his was across the world.

Some of these odd jobs were odd indeed. Uncle Boris had a job as valet parking attendant. There wasn’t much to do since cars were yet to be invented but at least they let him keep the little red jacket. That little red jacket came in handy on many a cold night. There was the unfortunate incident when Uncle Boris wore the little red jacket while walking across Spain and a bull mistook him for a matador’s cape but that is another story.

While approaching the Chinese border Uncle Boris made acquaintance with Alfred. Alfred was a ram who claimed to be the reincarnation of a qigong master. Alfred offered teach Uncle Boris qigong but since Alfred was in a body requiring all four legs to be on the ground this proved difficult.

Alfred offered to give Uncle Boris a ride the rest of the way to China. “Hop on!’ said Albert. “Okay!” said Uncle Boris.

After several months of adventure Albert and Uncle Boris arrived at the home of two qigong masters.

The place was familiar to Albert and he felt he had arrived back home. Uncle Boris was happy to meet two master who could teach him the ancient art of qigong.

Unfortunately there were obstacles. The two masters were in preproduction of a performance piece based on the trial of Sacco and Vanzetti.  They were busy and did not have time to teach uncle Boris about qigong. This was confusing to Uncle Boris because he had not yet heard of Sacco and Vanzetti. No one had except for their families as Sacco and Vanzetti were still just children.

Uncle Boris could tell the masters were clairvoyant and asked for any advice that may help hin on his quest.

The masters told him to go to America. They said, “Take your time, there is no hurry.”

The masters said, “In 100 years every city in America will be offering classes in qigong, tai chi, yoga and more. And if you are too busy or tired to study qigong there will also be coffee shops everywhere.”

Original Article